Here’s To New Beginnings!

Well it’s been a while since my last blog (approximately 4 weeks) and my weight loss is the same but that’s expected since my food hasn’t been as clean as I would have liked, that being said it sure isn’t like it was at 243lbs. But no fear, I’m continuing to work on it just as I have been for over 2 years. I purchased a book the other day by Geneen Roth called Women Food & God. I’ve heard some amazing things about it so I’m giving it a read and see if I can learn why I turned to food in the first place hopefully it will give me some insight and help me continue to move forward with my new healthy lifestyle. The fear has always been that I will be fat again, I know it won’t happen because of the changes I’ve made but you can’t help but have those thoughts. I will keep you all posted on how the reading is going and discuss it in my blog.

I finished the BDHQ Biggest Winner program and have moved on to my scheduled workouts that I planned out prior to leaving. It’s going great, although last week I didn’t get in my runs with Kristen because I’ve been having issues with our demon dog. Normally I go to Kristen but this week she is coming to me so we are back on track with our 3 day a week runs together…yippee! I’ve been running the lakes with my husband and wow can he sure push me to run faster than my normal pace which is awesome since the goal is to run the half marathon in October in 2 hours FLAT. Tough goal but I’m willing to put in the effort to achieve it. I LOVE the weight training! I feel so strong and love the pump I get in my muscles after a workout. I’m no Oxygen Magazine cover model by no means, but the weight training will definitely transform my body more than cardio alone could’ve ever done, and the bonus is it will eat up all the excess fat and replace it with calorie burning lean muscle, can I get a little whoot whoot.

That’s all for now, I will continue to update on a weekly basis and discuss how I’ve been doing trying to reach my fighting weight - hehe. I laugh sometimes at how much we focus on those last 10lbs. It has taken me sometime to realize that my body may not want to give up those 10lbs and I really am okay with it. I use the last 10lbs to keep me focused on not gaining or slipping up, if they never come off so be it, I’m in a size 8 and/or medium, when was the last time I could say that.

Week 11/12 – 5 days till the end of week 12.

The past week and a half didn’t go so well for me, I stopped working out b/c I just didn’t feel like myself. The weight crept up and as of today I was up to 158.2 from 153.6 one and half weeks ago. I was so close to the 140’s I think I might have gotten a little cocky and went back to old habits. I’ve said it before but it’s a slippery slope. My food choices have been that of the old me when I weighed 243lbs. For example on Sunday I had a craving for cake, yes cake, so my husband and I bought carrot cake with cream cheese icing. It was definitely yummy but as I was eating it I happened to look over and see my before picture that I have posted on my fridge and thought to myself, this is the way that girl ate, I don’t want to be that girl again. So the cake leftovers left our house and went to my husband’s office for the boys to eat.

I’m not going to lie to anyone, I have anxiety about gaining the weight back. The statistics for maintaining weightloss aren’t very good. That’s why I’m always thinking about what’s next and constantly preparing what I’m going to do after BW. Well that time is now for me. I end my 12 week session this upcoming Sunday March 28. I know what I’m doing and have rallied in my fitness buddies for the continued support. So this is what I have planned for my workouts, I will be running approximately 4 – 5 days a week with one of the runs being a long run at Elk Lake and the other runs being a High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) workout. I will be incorporating the Eat Clean Diet Workout as my strength training component and plan on continuing to go to BDHQ for indoor/outdoor sessions. I finally have graduated the BW program, some might say I haven’t reached my goal and should stick with the program for one more session but quite honestly I don’t want to be the girl in the front of the pack anymore, I want to be the one who is challenged and chasing the leader. That is the only way I feel I can improve myself.

I ran Elk Lake this past weekend and remembered how much I love running and the feeling I get after a great run. I had such a great run that I ran Tuesday morning as well and again had such an amazing feeling afterwards, I think I may be addicted again. It is also a great opportunity to run with my girlfriends and catch up with one another because we are all so busy with our lives that we don’t get many opportunities to sit down and chat so we may as well do it while we run.

I feel positive about reaching my 100lbs, I have a plan and am accountable to everyone in my life that has followed me on my journey but most importantly I’m accountable to myself. I’m not going to stop blogging until the goal is reached and even then I don’t know if I would, I love blogging about my week and feel a sense of honesty when I blog. I wasn’t going to blog about week 11 because it wasn’t that great of a week for me but then I decide to be honest and I’ve realized it’s apart of the journey, there will always be ups and downs. This has made me really look at myself and I realize that I’ve done something amazing and it has truly transformed my life. I can’t imagine being that fat girl again. So for the rest of my life I will be an active person who continues to eat clean in order for me to maintain my svelte body ☺

So begins the 5 day countdown! Here is the breakdown of the next 4 days of workouts for me, I have a BW session tonight (Wednesday), Thursday morning I’m running with a friend, a BW session Friday morning, Saturday I’m running Elk Lake (which is 10km), and then the big final weigh in. After Sunday it’s on me to get up and get moving, I’m kinda looking forward to it.

Week 10 – Food for thought

I weighed in on Friday morning because I wasn’t going to be there on Sunday. I lost .8lbs, which I will take happily at this point in my journey.

I was in Vancouver this weekend and thought that I made amazing choices only to come home and find out the scale jumped by 5lbs. I have no idea what is going on, I’ve been having pain in my abdomen and am really bloated. The only thing I can figure is the restaurant food and lack of water intake. I know the weight will drop off once I continue to eat clean and drink my 4 liters of water but I can’t believe how crappy I feel. I use to live on restaurant food and now I can’t have it without feeling bloated and lethargic. It makes me wonder what they are putting in the food. I would rather make my own food that way I know exactly what I’m eating.

It was so nice to get away and see the Canucks play for the first time. I can’t believe I’ve never seen an NHL game live before. It was so much fun watching the Canucks kick some Sens ass. I felt bad for my husband as he is a huge Senators fan but I have to admit it was fun cheering for the winning team. I plan on going and seeing another game next year.

I also got to see the Olympic cauldron and it was lit up because of the Paralympics so that was definitely a bonus.



So I’m back to the grind of eating clean and working out making my way down the scale so I can see the 140’s by the end of the month. I just hope the set back from the weekend doesn’t impede on my goal at the end of the month.

Week 9 – ooh so close I can taste it!

The scale moved by 2.2lbs in the right direction which makes it 10.9lbs to my ultimate goal of 100lb weightloss.

I can’t believe how far I’ve come! I will see the 140’s soon.

I’m very realistic that the 10.9lbs most likely won’t come off in the next 3 weeks without me cutting out complex carbs and working out hard everyday and there is no way I could maintain that kind of training on a weekly basis. So I choose not to do that because I want the weightloss to be permanent. I will continue to eat clean and workout 4-5 days a week and before summer I know I will reach my goal and finally go into the maintenance phase of this fitness/weightloss journey.

I’m going to Vancouver this weekend to see the Canucks play the Senators. I had originally decided to use the Saturday as a cheat day but since I’m so close to my goal, I refuse to sabotage myself. I will make the best food choices available to me, pizza who needs pizza when you can have poached fish and salad.

So begins the last few weeks of the BDHQ Biggest Winner program. I will finally be graduating from the program that started me on this journey. The plan for the next phase of the year is to incorporate more strength training in order to transform my physique and train for the Royal Victoria Half Marathon. Should be a fun year ahead for me.

Week 8 - Scale or not to Scale

Well another .8lbs down with only 13.6lbs to go. It’s so exciting seeing numbers on the scale that I can’t ever remember seeing. I know I saw them once when I was in my late teens early twenties. I saw 154lbs on Saturday, a day before the weigh in but my food choices caused the scale to go up to 156lbs by the time Sunday morning rolled around. I didn’t eat anything crazy just bread (subway and homemade Pizza), which I normally don’t consume on a regular basis.

I missed my workout last night because of a sore throat, the kind that feels like razor blades when you swallow. I thought it was strep but woke up this morning and its not as painful so I’ll just keep sucking on lozenges and hope it goes away soon. If I want to get into the 140’s I can’t be missing anymore workouts, I have to keep reminding myself that every day for the next 4 weeks.

I’m trying not to focus on the scale too much but who’s kidding who. I’m the type of person who steps on the scale probably 5 times a day. To me, it keeps me focused, some might think I’m obsessed but I’m not…honestly. I think the moment I don’t care what it says is when I’ll lose control and revert back to old habits. The scale has become, in some crazy way, my full length mirror. I know the number, it continues to go down with exercise and great food choices. The minute I don’t exercise or eat poorly, it shows on the scale. I have a colleague who’s decided to toss her scale, I can’t even imagine the anxiety I would feel if I couldn’t see what I weighed every morning.

Well maybe I have to be honest with myself and realize it may be a bit of an obsession but it has helped me lose 86lbs and it will continue to help me keep the pounds off. I don’t ever change what I eat because of the scale, I just continue to eat clean and have an indulgence once a month. But I am aware of my food choices and the effect they have on the scale.

So I will continue to eat clean and focus on getting to every workout and giving it 110% for the next 4 weeks and see how close I get to achieving my goal of 100lb weightloss.

Support from loved ones – Week 7

I was sick last week and missed most of my scheduled workouts but I still managed to lose ½ a pound, must have been all the trips to the bathroom. I feel much better and am ready to rev it up for the final five weeks of this 12 week program.

I wanted to share my thoughts on the love and support that I’ve gotten from the most important person in my life, my husband Paul. When I started this journey back in February of 2008 my husband was with me for 2 months before he left for a 6 month deployment to the Gulf, yes I am married to the military. The support I received from him has been the driving force behind my success. I remember the first day of the Biggest Winner program with BDHQ, I stepped on the scale and was mortified with the number it read … 243lbs, I walked through the front door that night to see my husband greeting me with smiles asking “so how was it” my response was a tearful “I weigh 243lbs”, he responded with a sincere “well you won’t weigh that tomorrow”. To this day those words mean everything to me. I can’t say enough about the love and support that my husband has continued to give me. Even the distance between us during his 6 month deployment, he would continue to listen to me vent about the struggles, offer support from a far and cheer me on. The highlight of 2008 was the two of us crossing the finish line at the Seattle half marathon. I had an injury before the race but wasn’t going to let that stop me, from mile 9 on I cried in pain and walked (limped) most of the last 4 miles with my husband beside me telling me I can do it, we ran across the finish line holding hands, that moment will forever be etched in my mind. I want to thank my husband for being there for me from the start of this journey and continuing to be the best husband I could’ve ever asked for. I love you babe, see you soon. (February the month of Love)

You will need all the support you can get from loved ones, friends and family. It’s hard to accomplish it on your own without any support. I am so fortunate to have had amazing support throughout this journey. Losing weight has been the hardest thing I have done and as you can tell it’s still a struggle to get the last pounds off. I know that living a healthy lifestyle will continue to be a struggle but as the saying goes….skinny tastes so much better than cake!

So the final five begins! Clean eating and extra workouts is what the next five weeks will consist of for me in order to kick it up a notch or two…

Booyah! Week 6

Well I must say all the positive thinking of just living and not worry about what the number on the scale is has caused it to move. I am finally in the 150’s, 157.8 to be exact. I weighed in on week 3 at 159.8 but really that’s just a teaser, its not really in the 150’s. Week 4 and 5 I had gains of 1.6lbs and 2.2lbs and yesterday, Week 6, I lost 5.8lbs. I guess changing things up really is what it’s going to take. So I have 15lbs to go to reach 100lb weight loss. I’m not going to stress about timeline, it will take me as long as it takes me, I’m just so glad I’ve moved past the 160’s.

I’ve been eating really clean for the past week and feel fantastic. I cut dairy from my diet a while ago but added cottage cheese back into it last week. I love cottage cheese with celery and cherry tomatoes, its heaven.

This transformation journey that I’ve been on for the past 2 years has been the most life changing experience for me to date. I have become a stronger person both mentally and physically. I am no longer that person who keeps my mouth shut when something is bothering me. My entire life I would internalize my emotions and the only way to numb them was to feed them. I no longer suppress them; I express them and feel so much better because of it.

So another week begins of eating clean and exercising. As long as I continue to do my best at leading a healthy, active lifestyle, I am a winner regardless of what the number on the scale is.

End of Week 5; Midway point and reflection

I took the entire week off and didn’t move my body at all and feel great because of it. It’s hard when you come off of surgery and are forced to take it easy in order to recover and then when you come back to exercising it is so easy to do too much. I ended up weighing in at the studio last night which kind of put me in a weird head space because obviously my weight would be up 2lbs, I drink a gallon of water a day and at that time I would have already had 3 liters in me, but after running out my frustration I realize it’s only a number and when I weigh in on Sunday it will be a loss so really who cares.

I will not allow myself to be tied to a scale anymore, my emotions have been based on the number on the scale for the past 2 years and I’m done with that, if it’s up I’m happy, if it’s down I’m depressed or pissed off. How emotionally draining is that on me and my husband and everyone else around me. I want to embrace life and start living it. Being overweight is like living in a cocoon and it’s time for me to turn into that butterfly and enjoy life.

The truth will set you free…It may not be obvious to you but this blog has actually led me to make some life changing resolutions. It has truly forced me to reflect on myself, my goals and my issues. Therapy, who needs therapy when you are able to write things down, it’s so therapeutic.

So begins the midway point of week 6! I am realistic that I may not reach my goal in the next 6 weeks but I think I look fabulous. I will continue on with this blog and fitness journey after the 6 weeks is up and eventually I will hit my 100lbs lost goal, that I can guarantee.

Did you also notice I have changed it to fitness journey rather than weightloss journey. I believe that was a long time coming.

Reconsidering the skin I’m in...

I seemed to have had a moment of clarity yesterday. I have been so focused on losing the last bit of weight that I have yet to sit back and appreciate all that I have accomplished to date AND how great my body looks since the surgery.

I see hipbones! My body has changed so much since the surgery that I am falling in love with it. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. I love looking at myself in the mirror. The swelling from the surgery is starting to diminish slowly and as that happens my new shape is beginning to appear. My plastic surgeon said it could take up to a year before I see my new shape and I just need to be patient. Well he was right my body looks completely different from a month ago. So my thoughts are to enjoy this process. My food is great, I exercise regularly and count my calories in order for weight loss, if the weight is slow coming off, I am okay with that. This is not a race for me anymore it is a journey to a new me. The most important thing to me is creating healthy habits in order to MAINTAIN my weight loss at the end of this incredible journey.

I plan on taking measurements since the last time I took them, which was around week 8 post op and as of today I’m 14 weeks and 2 days post op. I will update the difference once I take them.

So I am going to start to reconsider the skin I’m in and see where this journey takes me, if it only takes me to 94lb weight loss I will be okay with that and if it takes me a year, it takes me a year. I will continue to do what I’m doing and really just enjoy being a healthy, vibrant woman, who has turned her entire life around for good.

Week 4

I am up 1.6lbs due to the simply fact of being a woman. For many years I was on oral contraceptives and because of my pulmonary embolisms I can no longer take any form of hormones, so this has made my PMS almost unbearable. My emotions this past week have been out of control and water retention (weight gain) at its worst. BUT throughout this week I have maintained my clean eating except for my monthly cheat meal which was last night. I ended up having pizza, but paid for it later. I can’t believe how sick I was, my stomach was so upset, and I think it might be the cheese. Lesson learned!

Frustration is starting to kick in right now. I don’t know what else I can do to get the last 20lbs off of my body. I’ve been going on the internet looking for any help as to why my weight isn’t really changing. Obviously the first bit was Christmas weight and lack of exercise due to my surgery but for the past year my weight will not go below 160lbs. I say I’ve tried everything but I know deep down that’s not true. So I will continue to do what I’m doing but start to kick it up a notch this week and hope for the best. If anyone out there has any ideas I would love the advice.

So begins another week…

Carb Cycling Modification

I was at bootcamp last night getting my sweat on when a fellow bootcamper Nikki made a point about increasing the carb intake according to the article. If I eat double my weight in carb grams there is no way I could maintain my current daily caloric intake for weight loss. She has an excellent point and is incredibly smart. So last night I kept thinking about it and came to the conclusion that maybe I shouldn’t double my weight but go from eating my regular cycle of 40% protein; 30% carb; 30% fat to 50% carb; 30% protein; 20% fat OR continue with what I’m doing because it’s clearly working and just increase my workouts.

I will continue to look at the numbers but considering the article came from Oxygen Magazine I’m inclined to think it is more suitable to individuals whom have no weight loss goals but rather fat loss and muscle gains.

I’m totally changing the subject now but I was a bit frustrated this morning because I was going to workout this morning with Nikki and Kristen as part of a last chance workout with BDHQ for an hour in a half…BUT didn’t because last night at bootcamp I did something to my quad muscle doing a squat! I can’t believe how much it hurts right now. So I knew if I went it wouldn’t be a good thing so I hope to get in another opportunity for a last chance workout this week. Oh well I guess I move on and not dwell but it would’ve been so much fun working out with those ladies.

Well I'm on day 2 of week 4 and I will continue on…

Week 3

Another loss of 2.2lbs! That makes it 16.8lbs to go in the next 9 weeks. Which turns out to be exactly 1.87 lbs per week…it’s going to be really hard to keep it up but I really want to reach this goal so I have to focus, focus, focus.

I’m always reading about how to move beyond a weight loss plateau, I’m not at a plateau this moment but I was for about a year and to be honest I’m scared to death about having it happen again. I was reading an article about carb cycling. It almost seems crazy but even my Fitness idol, Jamie Eason agrees with it so it must be okay 

The basic idea is to cycle your carbohydrate grams throughout the week. For example:

Monday – low carb; Tuesday – low carb; Wednesday – low carb; Thursday – high carb
Friday – moderate carb; Saturday – moderate carb; Sunday – moderate carb

It all seems easy to do but there is some math you have to do to determine the amount of grams per day.

Low Carb: Your body weight (lb) divided by 2 = grams of carbs
High Carb: Your body weight (lb) x 2 – 3 = grams of carbs
Moderate Carb: Your body weight (lb) = grams of carbs

Low Carb day you would eat more fibrous vegetables and healthy fats and less starchy Carbs. On a High Carb day you would eat more starchy carbs and simple carbs and less fibrous vegetables and healthy fatty foods. On the Moderate Carb day you would go back to eating your regular clean eating diet of lean protein, vegetables, whole grains and healthy fats and avoid the refined carbs, processed foods, drinks and candy.

You must however continue to eat 5 – 6 balanced meals with your daily caloric and protein intake the same. Holy crap this is going to be really hard to tackle. My day already is consumed with planning.

The article went on to say that this way of eating is all about restoring your fat-burning hormone levels, Leptin is a hormone the keeps our metabolic rate up and hunger down. So staying on a low carb diet depletes this hormone and causes our metabolism to decline and increase our hunger and we don’t want that to happen or would could not see any changes to our bodies. So in alternating the carb intake we can prevent the leptin levels from dropping and continue increasing our body’s ability to burn excess fat.

My friend Kristen is going to start trying this method today and I’m going to start playing with my numbers and plan my menu so I can start this upcoming Sunday. I figure I can try it for a few weeks and see what happens. The fat loss benefits of carb cycling have been the best kept secret of bodybuilders and fitness models and NOW Kristen and I. I only hope I see the benefits:0.

So begins another week of eating clean, exercising and planning my next week of carb cycling.

Week 2

I stepped on the scale Sunday AM and lost 2.2lbs which makes my loss to date 7.5lbs in 2 weeks. Not bad at all. 19lbs to go in the next 10 weeks.

My 2nd week was great; I haven’t eaten anything bad, which is really rare for me. In the past I would’ve eaten something that I would have felt guilty about as soon as I ate it. Why do we feel that way? Why can’t we indulge once in a while and move on? Some people can but I feel so awful sometimes that it brings me to tears. I really need to work on that so I can continue to keep the weight off.

My meal plan has been so delicious that I haven’t really had a desire to eat any sugar laden foods. It might have a lot to do with my Green Protein Shake that I have on a daily basis. I read it on Janelle Nicolo’s blog and thought it sounded so crazy but it is so yummy that I’ve been passing it on to everyone I know. Here is the recipe for that best veggie/fruit protein shake.

3 scoops of whey protein powder (vanilla or banana)
2 handfuls of spinach (roughly 2 cups or more)
2 small cucumbers – peeled and diced
1 pear – diced
1 apple – diced
2 T lime or lemon juice
1 cup of water (you could use almond/soy milk or skim milk)

Put all ingredients in a blender. Makes 2 servings. I usually freeze half and use the next day. Trust me; this is the best shake EVER!

I realized this past week that the intensity that I bring to my workouts has to be 110%, so I decided to start wearing my heart rate monitor. What a difference, I can now keep track of my heart rate and monitor how hard I’m really working out. We all tend to think we’re getting a great workout but unless you monitor it with a HRM you really never know. I can tell you that I didn’t cheat myself on any of my workouts this week. I gave it everything I had at every workout.

I will try to post pics as I realize I never take photos of myself which is such a shame. I’ve just decided that will be my New Years resolution, to take more photos of myself. When you’re a fat girl you tend to stay away from the camera and full length mirrors but that really needs to change from me. My husband is going to put a full length mirror up so I realize what I really look like and not what I think I see. I am no longer that fat girl I keep seeing, I have to realize that I’ve changed my body and really do look great. That will be my mantra that I say as I stand looking at myself in the buff.

So begins another week of eating clean and working out at 110%.

Week 1

Well I lost 5.3lbs in the first week! I will have to make sure the next 11 weeks I continue to eat clean and follow my exercise plan.

This past week has been so emotional on many levels. It has been really hard for me to realize to take it easy. I am still recovering from my pulmonary embolisms and surgery but when you have a goal and want to see results sooner than later it’s difficult to listen to your body.
BUT I did, which makes me very proud. I want to finish this journey healthy.

I was watching What Not to Wear on Friday night and it was about a girl who lost 170lbs and the difficulty she finds dressing her new body. I could so relate. There are so many times I look in the mirror and still see size 22. Watching that episode made me realize I wasn’t alone and crazy. Sometimes I think I need therapy but I believe it will just take time for my mind and body to connect. No one said this journey was going to be easy. I have changed so much in the past 2 years and with every day and new layer of emotions is peeled back. The only difference today is I don’t turn to food anymore…I’ve learned to tackle them head on with support from my husband and trainers at BDHQ and last but not least my lovely friend Kristen who by the way has lost just as much weight as me and is aiming for 100lb mark as well.

My food has been so enjoyable that there wasn’t one time that I wanted to eat cakes, cookies or chocolate. I’m trying to eat like a fitness/figure competitor which is TRULY clean eating. So far it has been working. I also use fitday religiously and journal my food to see my calories and the protein, fat and carb ratios. I aim for 40 protein, 30 carb and 30 fat. It may not work for everyone but it really is working for me.

My husband and I were so excited on Saturday because we substituted pasta with spaghetti squash for the first time EVER and couldn’t believe how delicious it was. 1 cup of whole wheat pasta is 300 calories and the same amount of spaghetti squash is only 42 calories. Hello, why haven’t I been eating this all along? Oh well at least I discovered it now when it really counts.

So begins another week of preparing my food and making it to every class at BDHQ. As of today I have 21.2 lbs to go. I really should have said the last 26lbs to go but 20 just sounded better, don't ya think :). Note that the weigh ins are done at the BDHQ studio fully dressed, so I do weigh less at home (in the buff) but I figure I started this journey on their scales and I’m determined to finish it on them 

My first blog :) 11 wks, 3 days to go!

Well...I can't believe I'm doing this. I only wish I started blogging at the beginning of my journey.

A little background before I begin blogging about my daily struggles in the next 11 weeks and 3 days. Oops... just in case I never mentioned it, I'm trying to lose 20lbs+/- in the next few months. I weighed in today at 164.4 (Monday's official weigh in was 169.5) and want to weigh in on March 28 at 143. Wow,it will be hard but I am up for the challenge.

Since January 4th I have been journaling my food and now I will be journaling all my thoughts and ideas of what is working and not here on this blog. I am apart of the Biggest Winner program at Body Dynamics bootcamp here in Victoria BC and it has been instrumental in aiding in my weightloss to date.

I haven't worked out since the end of September of 2009 because I was preparing for my surgery. I decided to reward myself for the 80lb weightloss and have a lower body lift done so I didn't have to look at the loose, flabby spare tire around my tummy and back. The surgery went well except for the bump in the road which was two pulmonary embolisms in both of my lungs :( I am in recovery and getting back at it.

I am so sore from my 2 workouts this week, I go to the studio 4 days a week for a total of 5 hours of butt kicking workouts. The official weigh in for week 1 is on Sunday...I will keep you all posted - whoever is reading this.